I went to see my Nurse Practioner today called Dee - she is lovely - I likes her.
Anyway, she tested me and talked to me and stuff and she said the good news is that I'm not suffering from depression. I am suffering from anxiety and she said if that isnt dealt with then I could get depression. She said it is very common to suffer from a form of depression when you finish a degree for about up to 6 months after it. Stuart said that to me too! :o) Anyways, she has recommended natural remedies rather than put me on anti-depressants - if I don't feel any better or get worse then I should go back to her.
She said that I should talk to my family - all of them - kids too and tell them how I feel sometimes and remind them that Mummy needs to be noticed and not take for granted. She said that I'm lacking self-worth and thats common for someone who has been through what I am going through. Like finishing a degree, moving on, new job etc. She said I should find 'me' time - like swimming, walking - stuff that makes happy stuff in my brain! She said that it should be totally time away from the kids and stresses of life etc. So I'm gonna make sure I go swimming once a week with my friends like I used to. :o)
I really liked talking to her - it felt like I'd popped a big balloon and it all came out - I didn't even cry like I thought I would. She said that I should ask my boss for appraisals and know if I'm doing a good job - she said that I need to be praised to build my confidence up :o) - and she thinks I'm being hard on myself and expecting too much to soon. She said I should start to feel betterer in a few months if I learn to relax and stop worrying! She gave me two little books to read - one about stress and one about exercise to a healthy life. I did feel better after talking to her. I wanted to hug her!