I did some clearing out today - I have a very cluttered Dining Room - it's all my art stuff and college stuff - five years worth of it!
I came across a picture of my Nan, Alice Elizabeth Newberry. My Nanny. It was a photograph taken on 7th September 1993. It was her 89th birthday and it was the day I gave birth to my Sam. It's a lovely photo - it shows her sitting by a big bouquet of flowers that I had sent her jointly with my brother Phil. I had arranged a delivery of flowers just incase I was making a delivery of my own and I was! She was so so happy that I had Sam on her birthday. It was a very special day.
She was a very special Nan. She looked after me and my brother alot when my mum and dad were at work. We did lots with her, she took us to the park, we made puppet theatres out of cereal boxes, we played cards, we read and best of all she would tell us stories and recite poetry. Oh how I wish I could remember them.
When I found the photo today it made me smile - it was a special photo in many ways. It made me cry also - I cried because I miss her so so much - after 14 years I still get sad when I think about her.
My Nan died just before her 90th birthday - I refuse to remember the date she died - I dont know why. All I remember is that it was about a week or so before her 90th birthday. She was in hospital when she died - she had had a fall and broken her hip - not good when you are nearly 90. I kept saying to her Nan you got to hold on - you got to have your birthday with Sam - it would be Sam's first birthday and her 90th. She held my face in her hands and kept shaking her head. I didnt want my Nan to leave me. Not now.
My Nan's funeral was the most saddest I have ever been to (and I have been to a lot in my life believe me) - it was like part of me was going - she was like a mum to me - she was my guide - my inspiration and my teacher. I loved her so so much. My brother had to hold me up as my legs went to jelly as soon as I saw the hearse. Also I was angry as my uncle was there and he had not seen my Nan for years and years and I knew how much he hurt her. How dare he be there at the funeral! He had to live with that though.
My Sam took over my Nan's birthday - and I still feel her with me now. I will never ever ever forget her - she is the reason I am who I am today.
Here are your favourite flowers Nan, yellow roses.