Well I'm back at work - Crowhurst Park - that is.
When I worked at the school, Robsack Wood, I always dreaded going in - everyday I would moan and everyday I would feel nervous and didn't like it - but something kept me going and part of me still wanted to work there. Now I go back to my silly ole cleaning job and I love it! I get up all happy, I go into work with no problem - I dont moan and Im so very very happy! What does this mean?
I'm still in a dilema whether to go back to the school next week on a voluntary basis - or just cut my ties with the school altogether. It could be that I just didnt like being in that particular school - I might be better in a different school. I wanted to do so well there - it was familiar to me - my children were there - Im a governor there. I wanted to be a teacher there - but I hated every day - I loved the children though - really loved them. But, you felt like you were treading on egg shells all the time - being watched and being judged all the time. Wondering if you were doing the right thing or not. Also the way I was treated on the last day sort of tells me that that particular person would not be willing to support me in my teacher training.
I think the best thing for me to do is not go back there at all and try find another school or find something else to do! Im going to work at Crowhurst for the next couple of months at least. What can I do? What can I be? I've got a degree! Anyway, the most exciting thing is that I have decided I want to be happy and I will only take a job that makes me happy. I was so so ill working at the school - I really dont want to feel like that again.
Cleaning me lodges again tomorrow - I loves it!! YAY Am I mad???
Love Laine xxxxxxxx