I have revised my story - I have rewritten some parts - let me know what you think - thank you xxxxx
My friend by Elaine Sayers
I knew what I had done as soon as the door was closed. I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that. I couldn’t help it though. She can be so frustrating sometimes. She had been poorly for some time now and it was beginning to get on my nerves. It’s not her fault though she can’t help it.
As I reluctantly let go of the large gold door knob, I remember the day I first met her. She was so sweet, kind and friendly. She was lost without her mother but she somehow knew that I would be a good mother to her and soon settle down in the comfort of my arms. I realised that my hands were all clammy and sweaty, that’s how much she has frustrated me. I’m sweating my anger out. I don’t really want to leave her now.
The sun was shining in through the arch window in the hallway. How she used to love lying in the sun, I thought. I walked into the sunshine and stood there for a while, eyes closed, soaking up the sun. I love the sun in winter when it shines through the windows, it’s a therapy. I hate the winter months they are so long and drawn out. I really miss the long days and the walks in the evening sun. I could stay here all day, standingin this one and only stream of sunshine. It might not come back again today. It might not come back again all week. I could go downstairs now and go get a chair and sit here for the rest of the day or as long as the sun will last.
I snap out of my sunshine daze and realise that there are jobs to be done and phone calls to be made. I will delay the phone calls, I really don’t want to bother anyone. I’m sure it won’t matter if I leave it for a bit.
I look back along the hallway and stare at the door. I could forget about it all now and just carry on. Pretend it hasn’t happened. Yes, that’s what I shall do. I tiptoed down the stairs and wondered why I was being so quiet. What’s the point in that! It’s not like I’m going to wake anyone up! I am the only person in the house! I think I am going mad!
When I reach the kitchen I let out a huge sigh. The huge pile of pots and pans before me greeted me like a huge mountain waiting to be conquered. If only I had done this last night then I wouldn’t have to do it now. I walk past the sink and turn on the radio.
Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend……
Oh great! I say out loud to myself. A really cheerful song to really cheer me up, that’s all I need isn’t it!
I switch the radio off and stand staring into space for about five minutes, it felt like I was stood still in my own world for hours. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I function? I’ve got to do something! Snap out of it girl I tell myself.
I wander into the lounge totally oblivious to the mess that is all around, left from the night before. I slump down onto the sofa and take up my usual position and turn on the TV with the remote.
My husband cheated on me! Shouts the girl from the television. Another one of those daytime chat shows, where everyone just shouts at everyone else, nothing ever seems to gets resolved. I must like these programmes because I am here everyday watching them. It is different today though. She is not here today. I miss her. I shouldn’t have shouted at her.
She kept me company every day. I loved her beautiful green eyes, the way they would stare at me lovingly. She loved to cuddle up beside me. I enjoyed that comfort. The comfort that I needed and I had an overwhelming feeling of being loved.
She was good at telling the time too. She knew when it was lunchtime. She would wake me up with her crying. I always fall asleep about eleven thirty every morning, but I could guarantee that at twelve noon she would always wake me up for her lunch.
Ok Ok honey I am waking up! Mummy will get your dinner now.
Off to the kitchen we would trot just the two of us. We went everywhere together. The routine never changed it was the same boring thing everyday. She would sit there staring at me whilst I prepared her dinner. She would be smiling at me with those loving eyes.
I know you only love me for your food you know! I’m not daft! I would say to her with a childish grin.
I really don’t know why she managed to get so excited, I gave her the same food every day, but she never ever made a fuss. All she ever gave me was love and appreciation. I wonder now what am I going to do without her. I stare up at the phone on the wall and realise that I really should make that phone call.
Today’s This Morning talks about ‘How to keep your relationship alive’. Says Fern Britton, all alert and happy, like she hasn’t a care in the world. It makes me sick. She thinks she can tell us how to have a good relationship! Like she is an expert! It’s ok for people like her, she has a husband and a family. She is well-off, has a good job and even gets to work with Philip Schofield everyday. I have always fancied him since I was about 19. I got to see him once when he was in Joseph. She is very lucky is that Fern Britton.
I switch the TV off in fury! I really haven’t got time to watch such rubbish. Who does she think she is anyway! I should really pull myself together. This is no good. I think back to last week when he left. Since that day I haven’t seen a soul. He hasn’t phoned and I know deep in my heart that it really is over now. The house is a mess. I really let it go since he left. And now, now, oh now she has gone. Why did she have to go today? Today, of all days. The day I had vowed to myself that I would pull myself together and get on with my life. Now I have to phone him, tell him that his precious cat has died!
I was upset too, she might have been his cat but I fed her, I brought her up, I brushed her and took her to the vets when she needed injections and check-ups. That’s why I insisted on keeping her. She was happy with me, she loved me. I feel guilty now though. I didn’t want her to die. I woke up this morning and there she was at the end of my bed. I thought she was still asleep and when I went to stroke her I realisedthat she was not breathing. I screamed and shouted at her and ran out of the room and shut the door. If I ran away from the situation then I could believe that she was still alive. I shouldn’t have shouted at her though it wasn’t her fault that she died.
Her name was Lucky and she was eighteen years old. A good age for a cat! We got her when we moved in together, when she was a tiny kitten. We always said that she was our baby as we couldn’t have children of our own. She supported me through the last week – she knew I was sad. Now she is gone, it is time I pulled myself together and got on with my life. A new life, hopefully a lucky life.
Me and Em at Christmas 2007.
oh yes he does!
